One of these days my life on earth will end and I will go to my eternal home. While I have every confidence in the power of Jesus blood, I'm less certain that I will hear, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord." (Can anyone tell I grew up reading/memorizing the King James version of the Bible?)
I want to, yes. But not necessarily enough to forgo a second helping of that ever so delicious dessert (gluttony) or to put down my book to go play a game with the boys (selfishness) or resist the temptation to compare my home to someone else's beautifully decorated one (covetousness.) I could go on, but I don't really want to wallow in my weakness, or reveal that much of it to others, for that matter.
How often, though, do we adopt the attitude that *I* am the most important person in my life? "I'm worth it," "I deserve this," or even "I earned this," are phrases I am learning not to use. Because I, more than anyone else, ought to be fully aware that grace is a gift, freely given to the undeserving.
When we feel entitled, or understand something to be a right, we lose the wonder of being given a gift. So if I do not seem thrilled if you tell me that I deserve something nice, maybe it's because those words downplay the blessing of it. Please understand that I will also not tell you that you are "worth it" - but I will not rejoice any less with you if you receive blessings. In a sense, being unworthy makes the greatness of the gift even greater.
I know that I have not done well, that there is more to do. I know too that I make choices each day, some of them better choices than others, even though they may all be quite small in consequence at least at this time. I also know that I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve. May I continue to learn to do well and be faithful with all that I have been given - time, resources, health, and abilities. I do long to please my Lord and Savior, and even when I lose sight of that, I want to gain that focus again. Not because I deserve words of commendation - but because he deserves good service.
