When my children have a bad attitude - when they simply refuse to share, do the tasks assigned them, or whine and fuss, they usually get a time out. We don't actually call it that - I just tell them they have to sit. No playing, privileges, or snacks. They get it.
Well, I think mommy needs time out today.
I've had a cough. Having a cough at 26 weeks pregnant adds an extra dimension of pain and sleeplessness to the already interrupted nights. Therefore, I have built up a shortage of sleep.
I am also not a cute little pregnant woman. I gain immense amounts of weight. Thus, the nearer the end of the pregnancy, the greater the effort to accomplish even the most common tasks. I am certain that the third trimester gets longer with every pregnancy. I think it's up to nearly 5 months this time!
Those are my excuses. But I know full well that excuses may explain why it is hard to have the right attitude, but they do not actually give me a license to have a bad one. But oh, I'm struggling.
You know the good part though? The next time my little guy stubbornly insists that "I don't WANT to!" or insist that toy is theirs and only theirs, I'm likely to have a little better idea of what it takes to change that attitude from grumpy to generous. I'm likely to remember that the attitude isn't the normal state of things, but may have roots in not feeling well, being tired, or hungry. And instead of getting frustrated that they aren't being as good as I know they know how to be, I can view it as an opportunity to teach them to have a good attitude even when everything around them isn't ideal.
If I just indulged in having a bad attitude, whining about all the things that aren't what I want them to be (and oh, it was a temptation this morning!) I would be modeling behavior for my children that I don't want them to emulate. But when I recognize the factors that are fogging up my glasses and making everything look darker than it is, I can work on cleaning the glasses off instead of fussing about the bad lighting.
I can also recognize that things aren't necessarily as bad as they appear from this side of the lens. In the same way that I know that the sun is shining on the other side of the clouds on one of those dreary, rainy days, I know that the blessings are still there even when I don't see them. It doesn't take the clouds away from today, but it does give me a reason to hope - and to look for a break in the clouds.
Am I hopelessly optimistic? I certainly don't feel so today. But I think some attitudes and thought patterns are learned behaviors, and the more we do them, the more entrenched they are. And that is why I did indeed give myself a time out this morning to sit down, write, and pray - despite the laundry, the dishes, the housecleaning, even dressing little boys that needs to be done. I needed to change the direction my attitude was heading!
So it's 45 minutes (and two interventions, 23 interruptions, and a cup of hot cocoa) later and I'm still tired and lacking energy. The only thing that has changed is the trajectory of my attitude - oh, and the time. But what a difference!
Okay, mommy. You can get down now.
